This is the part of the trip I wanted to touch on a little more because I learned a number of things. I learned that negativity is sometimes the result of a pessimistic point of view and may not be an accurate interpretation of what’s happening. I learned fun is not about the location but more about the people you share it with. Lastly I learned that well I may be a good listener it may not always mean I'm hearing what's being said.

Those who know me are fully aware of how much I love my daughter. I know it may sound like parental bias but I really think she’s a terrific person and I’m proud of virtually everything she does; the events surrounding this trip are a prime example.

Not only had she put all the stuff in the tent while we were setting up but she made a well organized home out of it. She made a sleep area for us to one side of the tent on the inflatable mattress and got our sleeping bags and pillows ready for us to simply climb into bed. The other side of the tent had our gear neatly placed and she was even fiddling with our lamp in a way so it could easily attach to the tent ceiling. I’d be remiss if I did not point out that she was not asked to do any of it, she simply took it upon herself to help out.

Had she not taken the initiative to help out things could have been much worse. Without her help it could have taken me another 30 minutes or more just to setup the tent properly as it was brand new and had never been setup by either of us. That extra 30 minutes alone could have amounted in an untold amount of additional bug bites not to mention, setting up in the dark which is never fun. We got everything setup quite quickly because of her and pretty much dove into the tent for protection.  

One would think being a tent prisoner would be a bad thing but I must confess it was one of the funnest portions of our trip and something I’ll never forget. We played cards, told jokes and discussed details of her life that I may not have ordinarily heard otherwise. This is not to say that she keeps things from me, quite the opposite in fact. I learned by talking to my daughter that kids have a way of filtering out what they don’t think is important. This does not mean their hiding things from you; it merely means they’ve decided what is relevant to discuss and what isn’t.

I also learned something about myself in the process; I sometimes have the habit of listening to what my daughter is saying but not truly hearing it. She had mentioned that she was fearful of the spot we picked due to its complete isolation. I assured her that nothing would harm her because I was quite confident in my ability to protect us both. What I didn’t fully realize was complete darkness with nothing around other than the noise of the nearby creek had her completely terrified.

She was so fearful that something could approach without us hearing that there was no way she would sleep that night. Like a big dumb galloot I simply didn’t realize it was that big of a deal even though she had already indicated more than once she was afraid. In other words I listened to what she had to say but didn’t truly hear as I did not share her fears. I feel this is an important point to make because differing views should not mean less relevance to the other point of view.

When I finally realized how ignorant I’d been I left the tent to get my axe and hunting knife from the trunk of the car. I assured her that should anything try to compromise the tent it would receive the business end of my axe and likely all 12” of my hunting knifes blade.

This was enough security for her to calmly fall asleep. I was very happy to alleviate her fears but in doing so she transferred them to me. Sleep did not come easy for me that night, not so much because of her fears but more because of the silent suffering she experienced due to my ignorance. I laid there much of the night listening to the sounds of the creek, my daughters breathing and the stern voice in my mind chastising me for my ignorance; and I fight this voice a lot.

The next morning saw no noticeable decrease in overall mosquito density so we made the decisions to move onto our original destination. After a quick breakfast my daughter took it upon herself to pack up the tent after offering to do the dishes; she washed, I dried. In all honesty just writing this story has warmed my heart several degrees reflecting on the time we shared.

If you’ve never taken a trip with just your child and been stuck (for lack of a better word) in an enclosed area with little to do, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND IT!!! Not only will you learn something about the child with you but you may also learn something about yourself in the process.

Discuss listening but not hearing in our forums.