Raising a child is the single-most important thing you will ever do with your life. Unlike your life leading up to becoming a parent, you are now personally responsible and accountable for another human beings development. The techniques you employ in parenting will not only shape the way your child develops but will likely influence the techniques your child uses in parenting their children. If you actually stop to consider the above, you may be directly responsible for parenting techniques employed by your descendants for generations to come.

This, above all, is reason enough for you to take your role as a parent seriously as you only get one chance at it.

Like many first time parents, I was terrified of the prospect of raising a child. In fact, I was so on the fence about having a child that I did all I could to support my ex girlfriends thoughts on the possibility of abortion. I guess it didn't help much that when she became pregnant, we were far from a loving couple and the stress surrounding this fact did not make for a healthy baby environment. Quite honestly, my girlfriend and I had broken up only weeks before finding out she was pregnant and had it not been for our pregnancy, we would have gone our separate ways in life. 

Once I found out that my ex girlfriend was pregnant, I returned to her because I felt it important to do all I could to make our relationship work. We both felt it was important to not bring our child into the world with a broken family so we endeavored to try and make a go of it. Of course the pressure of a newborn didn't help an already strained relationship and it wasn't long before the permanent split came, around the time of our daughters first birthday. All of the turmoil surrounding this time period is better served in another article so as not to detract from the point of this story. I just thought some background was necessary to help lead us on our way. 

I've tried to live a reasonably decent life but I have had my moments of utter ignorance and stupidity. Also, I've always been a big kid at heart which concerned me about how my actions would affect the development of my child throughout his/her early years. It didn't help that everyone around me was an instant expert on how to properly raise a child so I found myself inundated with less than ideal advice on good parenting techniques.

I measured the advice given to me by my peers in considering the source of the advice giver. If you are a good parent and have an obvious bond with your children, then I'll listen eagerly to some of what you have to say. Sadly, many of my friends were just not ideal parents as some of them lived lives where the child was only seen but not to be heard.

Needless to say, there had to be better sources of information on parenting techniques. 

Sad to say, there wasn't many parenting resources that helped ease my worries, at least nothing conclusive that seemed to fit what techniques "felt right" to me. For example, I've read in more than one article that you should always be a parent first and a friend second (if at all). Maybe I'm a bit dim witted because this train of thought makes absolutely no sense to me. What happens when your child matures and you've been too busy parenting instead of also developing a friendship? Somehow, I just can't see your child turning to you as a confidant later in life. People don't want to be told what to do all the time so there may come a time when your child just doesn't want your input any longer.

Of all the parenting resources I've researched, be it in books or online, many agree on one fundamental rule; consistency in parenting techniques is key. Quite honestly I believe this one tip may be the reason I stopped researching parenting techniques. Personally I think consistency is the worst thing you can do when parenting because it's not only impossible to do but it builds clear borders for your child to continually exploit. It makes virtually everything you do predictable and no kid is dumb enough to miss your parenting patterns.

For example: 

Since I've yet to find any definitive sources for parenting techniques that I can adopt in this article, I thought I'd add some more "fluffy" ideals that help me feel I've done the best I can with my child. I've also ran these by my daughter for her input so as to get the child's perspective:

• Be honest about your feelings to yourself and to your children.
• Be honest with what you can tolerate not only with your child, but with yourself.
• Involve your child in setting the boundaries, give them choices.
• Always question any parenting related advice you receive.
• Always question whether or not you could have handled a parenting situation better.
• Understand that while you are the adult, it does not automatically make you right 100% of the time by default.
• Age is not always equal to experience.
• If you didn't like it as a kid, why do you think your child would feel any differently?

...in other words, parent your children as if you were parenting yourself. I'd also suggest you refer to your own childhood often as you likely had strong ideas about the things your parents did wrong.   

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NOTE: This article will be updated from time to time with links to external sites offering information on parenting and parenting techniques. This is not to say that these external sites are definitive resources, merely sites that I believe can help you in parenting. 

Parents-in-a-pickle.com: Parenting children with challenging behavior is enough to drive anyone potty! This friendly, practical guide gives parents lots of tips to tame those tiddlers, toddlers and tykes.