Hey God if your listening...

A few weeks back I was sitting in a Chinese Restaurant waiting for my take out order to be completed. As I waited, I sat gazing out the window at a building across the street. Most of the signage at the store front was obscured by trees with the exception of part of what I guessed was the phone #. The number on the sign was 666 and it's not the first time I've seen this number, in fact, I see it a lot.

Before embarking on this article I want to clearly state that what follows is honest confusion from a 40+ aged male who is neutral on Heaven or Hell, God and the Devil. While I can say I don't fully believe in either ideal I'd be nuts to discount them. I've actually considered going to Church but like many adults, I don't like investing my time or energy into time consuming or potentially pointless pursuits.

The past few years has seen me trying to determine whether or not embracing God in my life is beneficial; maybe you can help?

Seeing the Signs

There are a number of things I'm thankful for such as my wonderful daughter, my health, my presence of mind, and my loved ones. I'm also not ignorant to the beauty that surrounds me in the world and the friendships I've made on my journey through life. That being said, are all the good things in my life Signs of God and His devine presence or are they just simply there? If these are indeed Signs that God exists, what about war, crime, hate, adultery, abuse, and all the other negative aspects of society? If these things can also be attributed to Gods divine presence then I'm not so sure I want to send him my faith as I see the need for none of it.

As I already stated I'm on the fence about God and the Devil, Heaven and Hell HOWEVER I try to do what's right and make amends for what I know I've done wrong. Funny thing is that I really don't feel as if God (assuming He exists) is paying attention but I do believe that the guy down below (assuming he exists) is paying attention and letting me know it now and again.

I know the above statement sounds so out to lunch I'm almost embarrassed to admit it but I'd be lying to you if I didn't. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I see the numbers 666 all grouped together not to mention how many times street lights go out when I pass under them. The street light phenomenon may not even be related in any way, shape or form but I've always had the feeling deep down that it was a sign of bad things.

The other thing that haunts my life throughout my 30's and continuing on into my 40's is my incredible bad luck streak. It is simply amazing how bad my luck has been and sadly it's become the norm. Now bad things don't phase me as much as they did years ago; they simply make me chuckle. My luck has gotten so bad that even my daughter comments on it now. I don't recall ever bringing this topic to light, she's noticed this all on her own.

Of course I'm not moping around because my luck is out. I'm merely adding it as it's a recently new constant in my life.

Blind Faith

As for the Religious folks I know, the one thing I find in common with them is they are so deeply set in their faith that they are almost deaf to any ideals that differ from their own or that of their church. I think it's great to believe in something but is it healthy to believe in something so strongly and with such conviction that there simply isn't room for other ideals? I stop seeing how this mindset is faith at all, it looks more like "closed mindedness" or perhaps "tunnel vision" or even worse "brainwashing".

I think it's great to be passionate about something however I don't think it's healthy to be so focused on one ideology that you become blind to anything different. One can argue that this is simply my misjudging the situation. I do wonder though that if I'm truly off the mark then why is Religion one of the most heated topics one can discuss in a room full of various opinion? To date the only other topic I've seen that heats up even close to Religious discussion is discussing Political opinion.

I also have trouble with believing that God can be infallible because nothing in the natural world is. How is it that one being can be so divine that the line between right and wrong simply disappears? Or is it simply we are left to our own vices and when God thinks we're deviating too far from the mark he acts via some divine intervention? Does this mean that God is only watching us on the TV screen for His own enjoyment, manipulating some of the controls and then changing the channel when what He's watching is too dull? I also wonder if God is so infallible, why did he allow room for the atrocities of mankind?

God created the Heaven's, God created Earth, God created Man; so what has He done lately?

Then of course there are my own questions such as does God even exist? Is God actually a person or is He more a part of a value system or belief that there must be higher forces at work pulling our strings in the never ending quest for the greater good? I find that the older I get the more I would love to believe in God (or a higher power) but my personal issue is that I'm not sure if I've ever seen any signs of God or His divine presence.

I think what would really help me to believe would be if I could actually identify God's work and see the signs He's leaving behind. Am I simply looking for signs that don't exist or is God in the eyes of my daughter, the bright blue sky, the trees, grass, animals, etc.? Is God inside of me or do I need to look for other miracles such as a missing child being found alive?

I guess the point to this whole story is that while I do have faith I'd like it to be directed toward something that isn't merely an ideal shared blindly by some. Since it is my faith I'd like it to be put to good use to actually help me out now and again. This may sound selfish but I feel I do my share to help others so I wouldn't mind a little help myself now and then when I'm feeling alone.

I view my faith as a mighty river and I can't bear the thought of seeing it misdirected only to trickle down from river to stream to tiny puddle trapped in the middle of nowhere.

Discuss Signs of God in our forums.

| More...